First dates are exciting and nerve-racking all at the same time. While you’re probably worried about making a good impression or hoping you’ll like your date, there are a few things you need to watch out for as well. When you get to where you’re going, keep an eye out for these red flags.
Running Late Without Letting You Know
Being late to a first date is no big deal. Traffic, work, and unexpected incidents sometimes get in the way. However, you should take it as a red flag if your date doesn’t let you know they’re running behind schedule.
This action shows that the other person doesn’t value your time, indicating that they might not in the future either. Without that key factor, any relationship is doomed to fail. Make an exception for dead phone batteries and a lack of signal, though.
Controlling Behavior
The first sign of controlling behavior is an ego, which is often exposed when your date talks the entire time without letting you get a word in edgewise. However, it could also just be their nervousness. Keep an eye out for paired behavior, like ordering for you or coercing you into aspects of the date you didn’t have planned.
Love bombing, the action of luring you into a false sense of security by going overboard with compliments and gifts, is another type of controlling behavior. These patterns all lead to abuse later in the relationship, which means you’ll need help resolving domestic abuse matters in just a short time.
Not Being Present
The point of a date is to get to know each other. If your date is on their phone the whole time or checking it constantly, then that’s a bad sign. They could also be looking around and not entirely interested in you.
Either way, they aren’t present in the date and it’s a red flag. This kind of behavior can be justified if they inform you of the reason. They could be waiting on an important phone call for work or about a family member, for instance.
Moving Too Fast
Everyone has a different comfort level on first dates, but it’s easy to tell when your date is moving to fast or being pushy. This is often accompanied with controlling behavior, either to claim ownership over you or in an attempt to get a one-night stand.
Whatever your views on sexuality are, it’s risky to head home with someone you’ve just met in person for the first time. The possibility of violence and rape is high. While there are experienced sex crime defense attorneys, avoiding potential abuse and trauma is always the better option.
First Impressions are Everything
A lot about a person can be sensed in how they present themselves. It’s about compatibility. Some people keep themselves very refined with fresh haircuts, new clothes, a detailed car, and an ultra-clean home. A first date can be a great chance to raise the stakes and, if you’ve lived the bachelor (or bachelorette) lifestyle – it’s probably time to step up your game. If you’re busy, or strapped for cash, that may seem difficult but you would be surprised how much a person can improve appearances by finding great clothes on sale, dusting and vacuuming their own car, an if not cleaning their home from top to bottom, then simply hiring a pro cleaner to perform that task for you for $90 to $200. These things are very affordable and can get you a better catch. Think of it as a small down payment on a better life. Remember, no one steps into a clean home an says a negative thing about it, but a slobby world may eliminate over 50% of potential second dates.
Other Red Flags
The above are critical behaviors to watch out for on your first date, but there’s plenty more to be aware of. It’s probably best to end your date if you notice any of the following:
- Being rude to the waiter
- Talking about their ex a little too much
- Teasing you in a mean way
- Signs of jealousy
- An inability to handle different opinions
- Telling too many jokes
- Admitting to ghosting others
- Seeming bored
